OK, OK, so I know this whole beard phenomenon is getting a little out of hand, but it’s for good reason! Today’s bearded bros represent the resurgence of a timeless, polished machismo and I can shamelessly tell you that we women cannot get enough, especially between the sheets. Here’s why.
1. Sex Appeal
Bearded men are just sexier. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love myself a smooth-shaven, dapper Don Draper when a man can pull off the look. It’s classic and can be unbelievably sexy in its own right, but it just doesn’t convey what the beard can.
Historically beards were a sign of both power and prestige, and if you’ve watched Vikings, they’re like, the most badass thing ever. Now, they’ve morphed into a not-so-subtle symbol of modern-day masculinity, constantly advertised everywhere, becoming so popular that different websites started making lists dedicated specifically to hot, bearded dudes. They even made their own calendars. What. The. Fuck.
Maybe it’s because they’re elusive, as not every man has the ability to grow one. Maybe it’s because they were rare in mainstream fashion and reminiscent of a bygone era. Or maybe it’s because I’ve watched too many scenes of Khal Drago erotically boning Khaleesi, with his majestic facial mane.
I can’t really tell, all I know is that when I spot a man with a beautiful beard, I can’t help but associate him with sex, immediately fantasizing about how dominant he will be in the bedroom. I know that “studies show” several hypotheses, ranging from virility and strength to beards meaning a man will be a better father. I’d like to summarize it in one, sweeping statement, but the truth is, I just don’t know. They’re just hot.
2. The Down Low
Something all the bearded men I’ve dated having in common? They’re great at oral sex. Coincidence? Perhaps. Regardless, the bristles on their faces always add some extra excitement on the way down, softly grazing collarbones, cleavage, hips and inner thighs. And don’t even get me started on the benefit of extra stimulation when they’re actually doing the deed.
Now let me clarify: None of these men possessed the unmanicured, Gandalf variety. Not to say those can’t be attractive, but unless you’re Pai Mei, able to grow a whimsical, silky veil you can flip over your shoulder, don’t expect most women to be insanely turned-on by Father Time style facial hair pooling in their pelvis.
Nor did they possess the immediate 5 o’clock shadow. They were somewhere in between—and properly softened with a fine beard oil. This is important to keep in mind, because if your stubble is too short, it’s going to feel like shards of glass against our most sensitive areas. I want to leave a sex sesh feeling rejuvenated and flushed, not red and raw with a painful rash.
3. Maturity
Ahh. I hate to admit this, but as I’ve aged, older men have become increasingly attractive, and beards often get associated with maturity and being more established. Success sometimes comes early in life, but for many of us, the struggle to reach our goals is a long-term commitment, which means older men may have had more time to practice, making those beards seem all the more attractive.
Maturity also comes into play in the bedroom. I’m all for binge-watching Rick and Morty and don’t particularly care if men fart in front of me. What I do care about is guys putting effort into my experience of pleasure, and some of the younger men I’ve been with tend to be more selfish and self-focused.
So in closing, it’s simple: Save your sex life, grow a beard!
By adhering to these beard rules every man should follow, you will ensure that your facial hair looks its very best. When you have sloppy, poorly groomed facial hair, you’re likely to come across like a creepy weirdo to the women you meet. However, if you follow these four simple beard rules, you will seem like an attractive, manly specimen that no woman can resist!
Beard Straightener Basics
How to Achieve Curly Beards
Curly beards are now the talk of town. It’s a new trend that is making serious inroads to the beard grooming industry. With curly beards, you have a chance to look stylish, elegant, and masculine. Plus, curly beards can elevate your looks—especially if you are attending a special meeting or romantic date. However, achieving curly beards isn’t a joke. It requires the right tools, tricks, tips, and dedication. Here are a few tips to help you achieve the best curly beards.
Clean With Shampoo and Conditioner
Always start by washing your beard. This will reduce the texture of your facial hair, allowing you to make it straighter.
When cleaning your beard, avoid utilizing a normal shampoo as it might strip away the natural sebum oils which your beard desperately needs to maintain its health. The best thing to do is to use a gentle shampoo designed specifically for beard use plus a beard conditioner that keeps your beard soft as well as manageable.
Oil and Blow Dry
Once you’re done cleaning, gently dampen your beard with a towel. Then grab your beard comb and some beard oil.
Apply a small amount of beard oil and using the cold-air option, gently blow your hair from the roots going upwards. Repeat the same procedure by blowing downwards and also combing down. This will help straighten your facial hair, but you’ll obviously want to finish it off by blowing downwards.
Drying your hair with extreme heat is something you should completely avoid as it might end up causing permanent damage to your beard. Plus, using too much oil will make it harder for you to straighten your hair downwards.
Straighten It
If at this point your beard is still curly, you may want to consider straightening it with The Beard Struggle Beard Comb.
Pull small sections of the hair away from the rest and put them between the straightening iron. Then gently move down the length of the hair strands with the iron. Do this for the entire face. If this feels like too much work, you may want to consider utilizing a beard heat comb. This could be faster but not as effective as using an iron straightener.
Avoid Using Chemical Beard Relaxers
Beard relaxers and chemical beard straighteners are effective way to straighten your facial hair. But the truth is that these could end up breaking down the keratin bonds which coil up your beard naturally. In short, you’re destroying your facial hair from the inside. So why damage your beard while there are numerous ways to straighten and curl it naturally?
The Bottom-Line
It’s time to go curly. So don’t limit curly to your hair. Your beards, too, need to be curly. Curly beards will make you look handsome and classy. However, achieving curly hair isn’t a joke. But this doesn’t have to scare you from making a move. With the above tips and tricks, you can easily create those beautiful beards you’re dying to have.