When it comes to pick-up lines, whether they’re flirty or corny, the goal is to break the ice. And possibly make the girl laugh as a bonus, if you’re lucky. But those who are in the dating game know how tough it is to woo the ladies, as ladies also know how tough it is to get the ‘right’ man.

Either way, if your goal is to rizz them up through pickup lines and break the perpetual ice, then you’re in the right place. Using corny lines might just. get you the girl of your dreams, or, at the very least, get a chuckle out of her.

So, if you’re down for learning some pickup lines then we’ve got just the thing for you, you smooth criminal. We’ve handpicked some of the best pickup lines you could ever find on the internet so you don’t have to keep googling for it!

Let’s jump right into it and get started on leveling up your rizz, shall we?

The Funny Ones

Pickup lines are essentially meant to be funny and also goofy. Girls love a man who can make them laugh, so incorporating jokes into your game can give you the boost you need. It doesn’t matter if you’re at a bar or at a party trying to woo the ladies, we guarantee you it’ll work.

This is all about how you deliver it, which means you must have the confidence to approach and also break the ice enough for her to consider you as a potential match!

Plus, this is a great time to showcase your humor and lighten up the mood. Everybody wins here, especially you.

• Are you Siri? Because you autocomplete me.
• Wanna be Minecraft without the craft?

(We like this, very clever!)

• Are you lightning? Because you’re McQueen.

This is a great one if you’re into Cars, the movie.

• Is there an airport nearby, or is that my heart taking off? (Another classic that’s bound to get you some chuckles, at least.)
• Do you have a pet? Because seeing you has given me a whole new leash on life.
• I don’t normally chase people, but for you, I’d put my Crocs in sports mode.
• Are you a Mariah Carey song? Because All I Want for Christmas Is You.
• Aren’t you worried about global warming? Because you’re making it hot in here.
• Are you a magician? Because when I look at you, everyone else disappears.
• Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!

(We love it when the parents are also involved!)

• How can I plan our wedding without having your number?
• Are you a keyboard? Because you might just be my type.
• You know, I’m actually terrible at flirting. How about you try to pick me up instead?

That concludes the funny pickup lines; now it’s time to get into the hot and steamy ones.

The Sexy Pick-Up Lines

While we agree that some pickup lines can come off as uncomfortable, even cringy, you should first read the room. Use your best judgment before you say what you’re going to say. Sometimes, it can seem inappropriate, or the person you’re saying it to is just not feeling it.

But that shouldn’t get your confidence down! No! In fact, if you use these steamy, dirty pick up lines, given the timing is right, we guarantee you’ll get the ladies swooning and also possibly giggling a little bit. Another win-win situation!

• You can delete the app now; I’m here. (This is a little basic, but it still works as an icebreaker.)
• Do you have a name? Or should I just call you mine?
• There must be something wrong with my eyes—I can’t seem to take them off of you. (We love this; it just oozes rizz!)
• My name is [your name], but you should hear my phone number.
• Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine? (A little saucy, but if you’re confident, go for it!)
• I’m not currently an organ donor, but I’d love to give you my heart.
• If you let me borrow a kiss, I promise I’ll give it right back.

(This, this is the one. we feel it!)

Being a Little Flirty Never Hurt Anybody

Standing out in the dating world is hard. Everybody is trying to be at their best, so you might think you have to go above and beyond. You might, but with these flirty and teasing pickup lines you might just get a lucky dm back instead of getting ghosted.

The latter still may happen, but don’t lose hope!

• I have a phone number. You have a phone number. Think of the possibilities.
• I’ve got all these forks and knives, all I need is a little spoon.
• Your hand looks heavy. Can I hold it for you?
• I always thought happiness started with an “H” but it looks like it starts with “U.”
• Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes.
• Did you just come out of an oven? Because you’re too hot to handle.
• I think we’ve met before. Actually, never mind—I think it was just in my dreams.
• I bet my number sounds nicer than yours. Wanna hear it?

(Rizz master, here we go! You’ll definitely get that number for sure.)

• Trust me, I’m not drunk—I’m just intoxicated in you.
• Do you have a mirror? Because I can see us together. (So do we!)

The Clever and Smart Route

If the hot and steamy ones don’t get the job done, then you always fall back on belting out the clever ones. Now, you may or may not get some eye rolls or possibly get left on read, but if you say it with the right tone and confidence, you might just get through.

Remember, it’s all about confidence. None of this works if you’re not confident about the delivery and not worried about making a fool of yourself.

So the next time you’re on Tinder or Bumble, give these a go!

• The only number I don’t see here is yours.
• Do you have Instagram? My parents always told me to follow my dreams.
• Are you an artist? You’re really good at drawing me in.
• Angels should be in heaven. How’d you escape? (This one just might work!)
• If you and I were socks, we’d make a great pair.
• Well, here I am! What are your other two wishes?
• Your name must be Barbie because I pictured our Dreamhouse when I saw you.
• What is it like to be the most gorgeous person in this room?
• If you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.
• You must be a talented thief because you managed to steal my heart from all the way over here.

This last one might just do the trick if you two have been eyeing each other from across the room. Just remember to be confident.

For the Corny Dudes

We’ve added many different types of pickup lines, but the show won’t be truly complete without the corny ones.

Ladies love a man who can make them laugh. But sometimes, just being funny isn’t enough, and sometimes, being goofy and corny can come in handy, too.

Some ladies like that so why not play that to your advantage? Use some of these lines next time and see what happens!

• I hope someone knows how to do CPR because you just took my breath away.
• You’re looking a little sick; you must be suffering from a lack of Vitamin Me.
• Are you a WiFi router? Because I’m feeling a connection.
• Do you have a Band-Aid? I scraped my knees, falling for you.
• If you were a transformer, you’d be Optimus Fine.

That’s the best transformer you could be compared to, the only other exception is Megatron.

• Let’s play a game…not hide and seek though, people like you are hard to find.
• Do you like Star Wars? Because Yoda one for me.
• I never believed in love at first sight, then I saw you.
• It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I am totally checking you out.
• If being beautiful was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged.
• My mom told me not to talk to strangers online, but I’ll make an exception for you.
• Did you go to school at Hogwarts? Because I’m feeling the magic.

(Don’t be afraid to use pop culture references in your rizz game. Some ladies are total nerds for it!)

• I’m really glad I just bought life insurance because when I saw you, my heart stopped.
• If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.

(This last one should be in the adorable pickup lines section because it’s too cute!)

Final Thoughts

We’d like to say that there are lots of ways to win over a date other than using pickup lines, but it does break the ice sometimes, and that’s more than enough.

If you know you can pull it off, you should definitely consider using these the next time you’re out on the town, in a bar or a club, or maybe even on online dating apps.

Be prepared to not get the desired effect right away. After all, not all ladies will warm up to pickup lines. But if you do it right, you might just get lucky, and that’s all that matters in the end.

Living an eco-friendly lifestyle is a journey that many couples in Cary, North Carolina, embrace with enthusiasm and commitment. As awareness about environmental issues grows, more and more couples are looking for ways to reduce their carbon footprint and live sustainably. 

Cary, known for its beautiful parks, green spaces, and community-oriented lifestyle, offers numerous opportunities for couples to adopt eco-friendly practices. This guide provides practical tips and insights into how couples can live green in Cary, including the crucial role of services like cary roll off waste management in maintaining a sustainable lifestyle.

Embracing Sustainable Home Practices

Sustainable living is not just a city affair but begins in our houses. Specifically for couples, small changes in daily behavior can have a positive and more significant impact on the environment. The first of these is energy conservation, which is a critical step towards attaining sustainable energy. Making sure that appliances are energy efficient, using LED light bulbs in homes, and making sure homes are insulated can be ways of reducing energy consumption. Also, couples can use renewable sources like solar lights and solar water heaters, and these products are cheap and are easily accessible in Cary.

The other equally important aspect of sustainability is water management or efficiency in use. Measures such as fixing low-flow showerheads and faucets, using a rain barrel for watering plants, and learning to be more conscious of the water used in cleaning or for other purposes can significantly change the situation. In addition, couples in the household can use food scraps to develop compost that will help manage the garbage disposal. Recycling compost helps reduce the waste produced and dumped into landfills while providing nutrients to plants through gardening.

Recycling and environmental disposal are fundamental activities of green living. Cary provides interesting and elaborate recycling services that couples should employ to ensure that recyclable items are correctly sorted and disposed of. However, for mass disposal needs where a couple is carrying out home renovation or clean-out services, they can hire Cary to roll off waste management services for efficiency and sustainability.

Green Transportation and Outdoor Activities

Transportation is one of the biggest emitters of carbon in the world, though Cary couples have choices to minimize their carbon footprint. The rational utilization of cars, buses, taxis, or cycling instead of driving personal vehicles can significantly reduce carbon generation among couples. Cary has a comprehensive system of BVTWs for bike trails and pedestrian access, meaning biking and walking are easy and fun in Cary.

For car users, a hybrid or an electric car can save a lot of fuel depending on the distance to be covered. Cary’s charging stations are relatively large so that the EVs can be recharged at any time convenient. Moreover, one can avoid driving in circles and combine several tasks requiring a car into one trip, saving fuel.

Cary also has abundant parks and recreation areas that provide numerous opportunities for natural recreation activities. These lovely areas are ideal for hiking, having a picnic, or enjoying an extensive range of wildlife. Some of the Leave No Trace guidelines that should be practiced during parks should be to ensure that one does not drop any litter but carries it with him/her and should only walk on specific trails while avoiding walking near wildlife. Another possibility is that couples can also contribute to preserving Cary’s natural looks by engaging in community clean-up events.

Promoting Local and Sustainable Venturing

Couples can support locally owned businesses that take care of the planet by purchasing goods from environmentally friendly stores. Farmers’ markets held in Cary provide the community with fresh produce that is locally grown, thus reducing the carbon emissions associated with transporting foodstuffs from other regions. By shopping at these markets, one also contributes to the farmers’ returns and the practice of sustainable agriculture.

Spouses may also look for firms that adopt sustainable materials and activities in their business. Many of the local shops sell essentials like recycled or sustainably made household items and organic and non-toxic toiletries. Consuming meals at eateries that use fresh produce from nearby farms and adopt eco-friendly ways of food production is also another good chance to embrace sustainability in Cary.

Besides shopping and dining, extended opportunities for couples to interact with community projects for sustainability are provided. Cary has been hosting different workshops, seminars, and events to raise awareness about the environment and how people can live sustainably. Such events are informative through presentations, make necessary materials or equipment available, and foster fellowship with qualified persons and groups with a particular passion for environmental conservation.

Conclusion

Making changes toward an eco-friendly lifestyle is beneficial for couples in Cary, NC, and contributes to improving the environment. The following list includes simple, practical habits that are helpful for couples regarding environmental conservation: sustainable transportation habits, eco-friendly outdoor activity habits, and local business purchase habits. Cary’s vibrant community and the beautiful nature surrounding it make it a perfect place for couples to build an environmentally friendly life. 

These services make maintaining a green home easy and very convenient by hiring Cary roll-off waste management. Thus, people living in Cary and couples, in particular, should consider the opportunity to contribute to the improvement of the planet’s natural environment and receive numerous benefits from implementing eco-friendly living options.

Gender Disparity and User Experiences

Dating apps serve as a tool for travelers to connect with locals for casual interactions, serious relationships, or exploring new locations. Data from a 2023 Pew Research Center survey reveal that one in ten partnered adults met their significant other through online dating. The success rates are notably higher among young people and the LGBTQ+ community. Moreover, 53% of users report positive experiences on dating apps, with men (57%) experiencing slightly better results than women (48%).

Despite these positive aspects, the gender imbalance on dating apps remains a challenge. In the U.S., men constitute about 70% of users, while in Europe, the figure rises to 85%. This disparity impacts the dynamics of online dating, leading to more competition among men and reduced engagement from women due to safety concerns and harassment.

Setting Clear Expectations and Optimizing App Features

Travelers intending to use dating apps can increase their success by setting clear expectations and being transparent about their travel plans. One effective strategy is changing one’s location ahead of time to arrange dates before arriving at the destination. This method saves travel time and increases the likelihood of meeting compatible individuals. This strategy can be combined with the use of dating app features designed specifically for travelers.

For instance, Tinder offers the “Passport” feature, enabling users to swipe in any city worldwide, making it a favored option for those on the move. Bumble, on the other hand, provides a safer option for women due to its female-initiated contact feature. When using dating sites while traveling, it’s essential to set clear expectations from the outset. For instance, if you’re looking for a long-term relationship, make this known in your initial messages. Similarly, those interested in non-traditional partnerships, such as open relationships or sugar daddy dating, should clearly communicate their preferences. Transparency helps connect with people whose relationship goals align with yours, ensuring a more fulfilling experience.

Safety Measures

Safety remains a primary concern for users, particularly when using dating apps abroad. Authorities, such as the Canadian government, recommend verifying a date’s identity through virtual meetings or social media checks before any in-person meeting. Additionally, always meeting in busy public places and informing someone of your plans are critical safety practices. Travelers should avoid sharing personal details such as accommodation addresses to prevent potential scams and enhance personal safety.

Different dating apps cater to various needs and preferences. For example, OKCupid offers detailed profiles and compatibility scores, which can assist in finding more meaningful connections. For LGBTQIA+ travelers, Grindr and HER are popular choices. However, it is important to be aware of local laws and customs regarding homosexuality to ensure safety and legality.

Challenges and Recommendations

Users should prepare for potential challenges when using dating apps during travel. Language barriers and cultural differences are common obstacles that may complicate interactions. Additionally, the transient nature of travel can impact the perception of locals towards tourists, leading to diminished interest. Some users may encounter flakiness or disinterest, which is a common reality of online dating.

To enhance the experience and mitigate these challenges, travelers should consider several recommendations. Honesty about one’s intentions and the duration of stay can help set clear expectations. Using reputable apps that include safety features and trusting one’s instincts is advisable. Avoiding the oversharing of personal information and prioritizing meetings in public spaces are key safety measures. Additionally, leveraging local recommendations from matches can enrich the travel experience even if meetings do not materialize.

Survey data from Bumble in 2022 supports the efficacy of dating apps for travelers. The survey found that one in three users were open to relationships with individuals outside their current city. Furthermore, more than half of Gen Z and Millennial respondents expressed attraction towards world travelers, highlighting an emerging trend known as “wanderlove.” This indicates a growing acceptance and appeal for travel-related dating.

There are many joys of being in a loving relationship. Regular laughter, smiles and sex are just to name a few of them. Although, when you experience the irregular things, it’s not as joyous–in fact, it’s downright scary.

There are two words put together that will scare any man and last weekend I heard them: “I’m late.”

When a guy hears those two little words, he wants to run, cry, scream and throw up especially if he is not ready to be a father.

When my girfriend dropped the bomb on me, I tried to stay calm, tried to say all the right things, but I when I opened my mouth.

Since both of us are not as financially stable as we should be at our ages (due to the fact that we live in a city that no longer has a middle class) and the fact that we’re old enough to be parents, (even if we both don’t want to be right now) we’ve never been so scared before in our lives.

The next few hours were a blur of emotions, however we handled it accordingly and if you’re a guy in a similar situation like this, here are some guidelines to get through it:

Keep Her The F*ck Away From The Computer!

Don’t ever let your girlfriend type up symptoms on the computer. She will not only scare the living shit out of herself but she will do the same to you as well.  My girlfriend went from thinking she was pregnant to thinking she had ovarian cancer in less than two minutes just because her breasts weren’t sore.  (I’m not even f*cking joking.)  So, if you’re having a pregnancy scare, stay away from the computer because only a pregnancy test will give you the answer you need.

Don’t Try To Have Sex With Her

Not that you’re going to be particularly horny anyway because hearing “I’m late” will automatically make you temporarily impotent, but if you are trying to distract yourself from the situation through sex, she will not be having it–AT ALL.

Don’t Play The Blame Game

It’s easy to get mad at each other during a pregnancy scare. Even though you might want to scream at the top of your lungs, “How the f*ck aren’t you on birth control already?” or “Why did you ride me so hard that the condom literally burned rubber?”–DON’T.  Let’s face it: You both screwed up and pointing fingers is not going to make the situation any easier.

Spend The Day With One Another

Although you must be thinking that taking a pregnancy test should be the first thing on this list, I will tell you why it’s not.  What if your girlfriend really is pregnant? The second you see that positive sign, your relationship immediately changes and it won’t ever be the same again regardless if you decide to keep the baby or not.  That is why you should take the day off and do all the fun things you can think of before you eventually have to take the test. I took my girlfriend to Centre Island in Toronto and we rode the Scrambler, walked around, ate ice cream and spent the night on Ward Beach where I built a fire for us.  It was an incredible night and this reassured her that no matter what the test results were going to be, that I was going to be by her side through it all.

Now You Can Take The Pregnancy Test

After you had a great day with one another, wake up and have her take the test.  Morning pee is apparently the strongest to detect the pregnancy hormone and you shouldn’t delay it any further.  Don’t let her take it alone. You have every right to be there by her side–unless of course she doesn’t want you to watch her pee on a stick.  In that case, just wait on the couch until she opens the door.

So the test came up ‘negative.’  I’m not going to lie, we partied like it was 1999 and in a weird way, the whole experience made us stronger as a couple.  We now know that we need to be more responsible when it comes to birth control (especially since we’re not ready to be parents) and even though we don’t want to be parents yet, we’re starting to think about moving in together. 

Maybe I’m not ready to be a father–but I think I am definitely ready to take “baby steps” to being the man who will be ready in the future.

Gone are the days when weddings meant grand ballrooms, hundreds of guests, and a year-long planning frenzy. Today’s couples are increasingly ditching the traditional nuptials playbook in favor of something simpler, more personal, and yes—spontaneous. Eloping is no longer just a plot twist in romantic comedies; it’s becoming a mainstream choice for lovers seeking a meaningful union without the spectacle. This shift reflects broader cultural changes, with modern couples valuing authenticity, intimacy, and financial savvy over conventional wedding norms.

The Lure of Low-Key Love

What’s the big appeal of eloping? Imagine the freedom of marrying your best friend without the stress of seating charts, catering disasters, and the dreaded guest list politics. Elopements strip down the ceremony to its core: the union of two souls. This isn’t about skipping the celebration; it’s about tailoring it to what truly matters to the couple. Many see it as a way to start their journey without the pressure, allowing them to focus on each other rather than on orchestrating a massive event.

Financial Freedom, Fast Forwarded

The financial benefits of eloping are undeniably attractive. The average wedding in the U.S. can tug at the purse strings, with expenses often stretching into tens of thousands of dollars. In contrast, eloping is a fraction of that cost, even with some luxurious embellishments. This isn’t merely about being thrifty; it’s about investing in what the couple values most. Maybe that means buying a home, traveling the world, or preparing for future adventures together. Many modern lovers simply don’t want to plan a wedding that aligns more with others’ expectations than their own dreams.

Easy, Breezy, Beautiful — Destination Elopements

Among the hottest trends in eloping is destination elopement, combining the wedding and honeymoon into one unforgettable escape. Finding all-inclusive elopement packages in Arizona, Hawaii, or California is easy online, presenting couples with picturesque settings from sun-kissed beaches to serene deserts. These packages often include everything the couple needs, from a celebrant and a photographer to a perfectly styled venue. This convenience means they can literally show up and get married amidst breathtaking landscapes. For many, this choice is not just about ease; it’s about making the wedding a personal adventure, a true beginning of a lifetime’s journey in some of the most stunning places on earth.

Intimacy Over Industry

One of the most profound reasons couples choose to elope is the desire for a deeply personal experience. Traditional weddings can sometimes feel like they’re more about the guests than the couple getting married. Eloping flips this on its head, offering a day that’s entirely about the couple’s love and commitment. This intimate affair allows for genuine moments that are often swallowed up in larger ceremonies. Couples can exchange vows in quiet, secluded spots that hold special meaning or even whisper sweet nothings without an audience. The intimacy of an elopement can strengthen the bond between partners, making the day truly about their union and nothing else.

The Customizable Couple’s Choice

The flexibility to customize their day without the constraints of a traditional wedding setup is a huge draw for eloping couples. Whether it’s incorporating unique traditions, adventurous activities, or unconventional attire, eloping gives the freedom to break the mold. Couples can craft a day that reflects their true selves, whether that’s hiking to a remote mountaintop to say “I do” or having a simple ceremony in their backyard with just their dog as a witness. This level of personalization ensures that their wedding day feels authentic and unforgettable.

Societal Shifts and New Norms

As societal norms evolve, so too does the concept of marriage and how it should be celebrated. The rise of eloping signifies a shift towards more egalitarian relationships where decisions are made in tandem, focusing on what’s best for the couple. It’s a move away from the spectacle and towards substance. Additionally, as social media continues to spotlight the most extravagant aspects of weddings, more couples are choosing to avoid the comparison trap and opt for something that feels true to who they are, away from the public eye.

A Modern Take on Matrimony

Eloping is not just a trend; it’s a reflection of changing priorities and the value modern couples place on authenticity, intimacy, and personalization. It’s about making the day yours and keeping the focus on the most important aspect—the love shared between two people. Whether on a sunlit beach or a quiet city hall, eloping is reshaping the wedding industry one heartfelt, genuine ceremony at a time.

“You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.” Cliche but very true. I’m sure every person has had that experience of ending a relationship or being dumped, only to wonder afterwards why we weren’t appreciative of the person when we were with them.

Barry Schwartz wrote a fabulous book The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less where he talks about how dating can often be compared to surfing channels on TV.  You are just about to commit to a show, but you always wonder if one more lap around the channels will give you the “perfect” show to watch.  The same can apply to dating.  Say you’re dating a woman for a few weeks, things are going great, but what if there is an “even better” match for you.  Even more so with online dating, since it can reduce the partners on Match.com to start looking like a commodity to be traded in for an upgrade.

For guys, one big factor in this is the myth of “if I were single right now I’d have tons of hot women throwing themselves at me.”  Um, sure dude.  So your woman is giving you a hard time today. But if you were a bachelor again, you’d most likely have the same ups and downs of any single man: Hot Pockets for dinner, lame first dates, feeling empty after a random bar hookup.  Fantasize all you want, but reality checks are healthy, too.

I know for me, after most of my relationships ended, whether short or long-term, I usually went through a period of remorse, rehashing all the opportunities I had to tell her the things I loved about her, but didn’t say a word. By rehashing, I mean sobbing while curled up on the floor.

After I eventually got out of my victim story, I took the experience as a lesson to carry into and practice in my next relationship.

“Praise is literal food for feminine qualities. If you want your woman to grow in her radiance health, happiness, love, beauty, power and depth, praise these qualities. Praise them daily. A number of times.” – David Deida

Unless you live in a monastery in Tibet, as a guy you WILL see attractive, sexy women throughout your day, for the rest of your life.  And that is a wonderful thing. But just be mindful of the thoughts that come up AFTER you notice a beautiful woman.  “Oh, she’d make a great girlfriend.” “I bet SHE wouldn’t nag me about my socks on the floor.” “She’d probably do all the kinky things I want in bed.”  Those are thoughts that may be true (not likely) or may not be true (likely).  Either way, the reality is that it often just kickstarts an endless loop of thoughts that take you AWAY from your current woman.  Enjoy the energy that attractive women bring to the world.  But also keep your ultimate intention alive.  And unless you want a distant and unfulfilling connection with your woman, get on the appreciation bus.

Here are 3 suggestions for having your own woman’s grass be the greenest in your world:

1. Remember that we don’t have to believe our thoughts.  They are just thoughts.  Just because we see an attractive women doesn’t mean she’s automatically a better partner. Or that we “should” have sex with her. She is one of many beautiful gifts of femininity.  Feel and enjoy your attraction toward her, but also appreciate her with respect. Biology and evolutionary instincts may draw our awareness to other women, but we do have control over what ultimate impact she will have on ourselves and in our current relationship. The practice is to notice feminine beauty but also be present to what’s happening in your head and in your body. Allow the women that you see throughout the day to be sources of inspiration, and if you’re in a relationship, channel that energy within yourself so that you can give more fully to your own woman.
2. Appreciate and praise your woman.  When you appreciate something, whether it’s a person, a painting or a house, they increase in value. So while it’s good to notice and appreciate the women you see out and about, if you are in a relationship, make sure you spend WAY MORE time appreciating your woman. And express it to her from a genuine place. Woman can tell when you’re just giving them lip service.  If you’re really having a tough time, how about shoot for at least one compliment a day? “I love the way you care so much about eating healthy.”  “You look stunning in that dress.” Invest fully with the woman you’re with.  Live with no regrets.
3. If you’re single, make a list of what you’re really looking for in a woman.  What are the top five qualities that are a “must have” for you? But really give it some thought and reflection.  Listen to what YOU and your heart want, not what your parents want for you or what your buddies thing is hot in a woman. And be open more to character traits (honest, flexible, smart) than just physical traits (nice butt, blonde, sexy calves).  Physical traits will change over time.  Character traits often stay the same. So if the woman you think is a potential long-term partner is loving, sweet and confident now, chances are she will be down the road. You can’t say the same about physical traits. And once you find a woman who meets those traits, go for it. Give her a whirl and see where it goes. At the same time, don’t be so desperate for love and sex that you put up with behavior from a woman that is disrespectful. You always have a choice in how you are treated.

The BIG P.S: Of course, all of this is NOT to say that relationships end simply because a man didn’t appreciate his woman enough. There are always many factors in a relationship, and it’s a mix of both partner’s personalities, patterns and intentions. And this also isn’t to imply that women don’t do their own things that push men away.

The first kiss marks the moment when two people, standing at the precipice of friendship versus “something more,” take a leap of faith to fall over the edge into whatever that “something more” is. It’s an important moment because it shifts a relationship beyond friendship or platonic affection and into genuine romance. A kiss is an intimate gesture that communicates volumes in a way that words cannot – attraction, affection, tenderness, desire, pleasure, delight and so much more.

Beyond that, the quality of the kiss and the way you initiate it can tell your partner a lot about who you are romantically.

“A first kiss can be a deeply profound and memorable experience that serves as a positive touchstone throughout the relationship,” says Barbie Adler, the Founder and President of Selective Search, a leading national luxury matchmaking firm that has helped thousands of singles find lasting love. “Couples who have been together for decades often remember exactly where and when they had their first kiss. While a lot of this has to do with the particular person you share the moment with, there are some steps you can take beforehand to help guarantee that it will have that special magic.”

Having bad breath.

This might seem like an obvious point, but its importance can’t be overstated. When kissing, you want all of the focus to be on the sense of touch rather than taste or smell. Having fresh breath makes the kiss more pleasant for your date and shows forethought on your part. Whether or not you will be eating on the date, you should always give your teeth a thorough brushing beforehand and bring some mints or gum along just to be sure.

Having dry lips.

Having excessively dry lips is not a particularly flattering look, and it can be very uncomfortable and distracting for your partner. Fortunately, this is a simple problem to solve. Regardless of whether you habitually use some sort of moisturizer or lip balm, you should definitely use it on the days up to and including your date. Not only will having soft, moist lips spare your partner some discomfort, but it will add enjoyment to their experience.

Too intense.

A passionate kiss is a good thing, but “passion” too often gets confused with sheer force or intensity. If one partner is kissing too hard or too fast and barely giving the other a chance to breathe, the kiss can quickly turn unpleasant. “The best kisses are responsive to your partner and attentive to their reactions,” Adler points out. “This shows that you are addressing their wants and needs instead of just your own. A passionate musician doesn’t play fast and loud all the time but responds to the mood of the music — a good kisser is much the same way.”

Too much tongue.

Everyone has their own preferences when it comes to incorporating some tongue into their kissing. However, it’s universally true that you should never lead with your tongue. Using tongue right away can catch your partner off guard and even repulse them. A good kiss starts with the lips only and incorporates the tongue gradually, reacting to the mood and to how the other person is responding. A little tongue can really elevate the kiss, but less is almost always more.

Keeping your eyes open.

Most of us are familiar with this kissing faux pas from its use in movies and TV shows, where it’s often portrayed as a red flag. Regardless of how you are feeling, it’s usually interpreted as a sign that you are not fully immersed in the kiss, and it can be off-putting for your partner. Keeping your eyes closed heightens your awareness of your other senses, which actually makes the kiss more pleasurable for you. It helps create the feeling that you and your partner are in a world of your own, fully present with one another, which is the feeling that defines a truly great kiss.

While a stellar first kiss can help seal the deal when it comes to dating someone, a lackluster first kiss is by no means a dealbreaker.

“If you ever come away from a first kiss feeling like you’ve messed up, the best thing to do is simply to keep your head up, stay positive, and move on,” advises Adler. “If the rest of the date went well, there’s no reason to treat the moment of the kiss as a be-all-end-all. Instead, take some time after the date to think about what may have made it unsatisfying and what you could do differently next time.”

More often than not, it’s your own nerves that get in the way–next time, try to focus instead on the other person, and allow yourself to follow their lead. Once you’ve gotten more comfortable, consider taking the lead yourself, and then giving it back to them–it helps keep them guessing and keeps things exciting. Getting a sense of what their kissing style is and working to match it is a reliable way to make the second kiss be the one that really sends sparks flying.

Unfortunately, many of us are out there dating aimlessly – clueless as to what we want and, even more unfortunate, who we are. Awhile back, I took some time out to soul search and reflect, deciding not to date until I figured some things out. And although I cannot claim to know everything (I still make mistakes but, who doesn’t?), being “purposefully single” taught me not only how to better conduct myself in love, but how to better conduct myself in life. The following are just a few lessons I learned.

The only lens that matters is mine

Like many women, there was a time in my life where the only lens that mattered was that of the man I was with. I found comfort in his validations and was crushed whenever he saw something in me that he didn’t like. While being “purposefully single,” I allowed myself time to finally make an effort to figure out who I really was. I learned that my identity should be shaped by my passions and interests, many of which I never had the courage or time to explore. It became less important how others saw me and emphasis shifted to what I saw in myself.

You have to learn how to be a friend before you can be anyone’s girlfriend

Anyone who knows me knows that I deeply value my male friendships. However, it is quite ironic that despite the fact that I have always been able to establish and maintain friendships with men, I never applied this technique to my romantic relationships. While single, I spent more time with my friends. This allowed me to understand the value they brought into my life, as well as realize how this level of male love and support was missing from my other relationships.

There are plenty of things to do on a Friday night other than date

I once viewed Friday, aka date night, as the worst night of the week. I always found myself home alone on my couch, bitter and depressed that I wasn’t cuddled up with someone or out on a romantic date. Looking back, I was such a fool to think that Fridays were only for couples. Being single, and not looking, didn’t allow me to waste any time feeling sorry for myself. I could either just exist as a single woman or live a single life. And as it turns out there are plenty of things to do on a Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, etc. night without a man, with the girls or just by myself.

Just because I’m alone doesn’t mean that I’ve done something wrong

Many women feel that they are “failing” because they haven’t “landed a man.” This pressure only increases with age. Being purposefully single became my way of pushing back. I was single, sane, healthy and beautiful. Perhaps, I just wasn’t ready. Or perhaps I could benefit more from singlehood. The truth is, there were plenty of reasons I was single, but none had anything to do with me being unattractive, unfeminine or unworthy.

I don’t need a man to feel love

For many women, men offer a level of comfort and affection that cannot be compared or replaced. And when this “love” is absent, many of us feel an undeniable void in our lives. While single, I was forced to look past this perspective and realized that there were several different types of love that are just as, and even more, fulfilling as romantic love, including love of family, friends, community, self and most importantly, God.

They had my help in hurting me

Women often blame men for all of their past and current relationship woes. Terms like “men are dogs” and “there aren’t any good men left” are often the result of pain and misdirected anger. Men have and will continue to hurt women. Women have and will continue to hurt men. But, women also hurt themselves. During my “single-dom,” I took responsibility for some of the bad decisions I had made then took the time to try and correct the unhealthy behaviors that put me in those positions. Old habits die hard, but it was worth trying for my own benefit, and of course for any person I decided to be with in the future.

I had been abandoning other areas of my life

When I turned 27, out of the blue and without my consent, it appeared as though everyone (my friends, family and complete strangers) decided that it was time for me to get married and have kids. Overnight – my focus went from hanging out with my girls and building my career to searching for the perfect potential husband and father for my unborn children. When I finally decided enough was enough, I rededicated myself to enjoying a pressure-free life; I was still young and had a lot to learn. At that point, I promised myself that I wouldn’t let the ticking of someone else’s clock overpower my own voice.

I had some healing and growing to do

Before I took the time to really reflect on my dating mistakes, I had been carrying some serious baggage. In addition, I was burdened with a myriad of emotions, including anger towards the men in my past, but even more so anger towards myself. First things first, I took the steps to forgive me. This was the hardest thing to do and by removing men from my life, I had much more space and time to self-reflect, digest, accept and heal.

Hindsight is 20/20

When a man gets cut off and out of your life without his permission, he tends to let his true colors show. And when they do, many of us act surprised by this “sudden” change in behavior. For various reasons, I had consciously placed myself in relationships that I knew would never and should never work. The men I had been choosing picked me for certain reasons, and I them for others – none of which were good. Looking back, that seems so obvious that I was using men as a distraction from having to really deal with and make decisions for myself. As a single woman, I am forced to think for myself and thus hold myself accountable for my own actions.

There is beauty in being single

Reading back through my journal and blog entries, I can see the growth I’ve made. My opinions of myself have changed, I have become more certain of my dreams and aspirations and there is clear evidence of a happier and more confident woman. Being single didn’t solve all of my problems. But, what it did do was (1) remove unnecessary drama and distractions from my life, (2)force me into a serious period of introspection, (3) provided me a much needed break from serial monogamy, and (4) allowed room for some really great people and things to enter my life. A man can bring you happiness, but first you have to be happy by and with yourself.

Finding a soulmate is often one of life’s most profound and magical experiences. Besides mere compatibility or shared interests, it’s connecting on a deeper level that feels both extraordinary and natural. But how do you truly know when you’ve met this exceptional person? It’s not just about how one feels or romance, but the journey of recognition of a soulmate is full of emotional resonance, mutual understanding, and shared values that bond together and can never be paralleled. These signs and feelings stand for what tells you that this is your soulmate as we get into the core of what makes that connection so unique.

Unspoken Understanding

There is often an depths of unsaid, yet profound understanding between you and your soul mate. This is beyond the finishing of sentences for each other; this is something to do with knowing feelings and thoughts of each other from a very deep level intuitively. You might be able to convey with just a gesture or a look, and the relationships easily come out of an unconscious rapport. You may feel very connected to someone with this degree of knowledge, as though you are speaking the same language.

Effortless Connection

How readily you relate to and interact with one other is what defines an effortless relationship. Natural themes and uncomfortable silences don’t strain conversations. This comfort goes beyond just talking; it’s evident in the way you spend your time together, engaging in pleasurable and organic activities. It extends to joint projects you do together, like planning your wedding. For example, designing your wedding invitation cards using some sort of wedding card maker shows how ideal your relationship is. You design them together, and it’s something that you both are involved in with such ease, hence it’s an activity depicting a bond put into fun meaningful joint activities. Such a bond may then seem to perfectly click into place, and every interaction becomes just right and natural in its feel and character.

Unconditional Acceptance

You feel super accepted in a soulmate relationship for who you are. Your partner loves your flaws and imperfections, accepting them fully instead of trying to make changes in you. This art of acceptance keeps you so secure and trusting that you can be yourself, showing the real you to the other person without expecting judgment of any sort. It means a relationship in which you are valued just because of your real self and given the best avenue to express individuality freely.

Emotional Safety

Emotional safety is the bedrock of a soulmate relationship wherein you feel comfortable sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings, knowing your partner will listen with empathy and support. Actually, this safety is based on the trust and respect that provide you with your right to be vulnerable without the fear of criticism or betrayal. This sense of security allows the level of intimacy to rise, and it strengthens the emotional bond between the two of you even more.

Shared Vision

A soulmate relationship is defined by sharing a common future vision: having aligned goals, values, and aspirations in life. This strong foundation makes it even stronger in the commitment of a lifetime. If both partners know where they are going on career ambitions, family plans, or lifestyle choices, then it becomes mutually reinforcing and ensures your bond, working toward a common purpose. That naturally will be mirrored in the plans and milestones, too, once you have taken that next big leap into your life as a unit. A good example would be sending out save the date postcards for your wedding; the actual act is practical, but as an action it displays both of your commitments to one another, and shared excitement about the future together. This is a statement that you want to share the joy of your union with family and friends and symbolizes all those important milestones you are about to experience together.

Shared Growth

Having a soulmate usually inspires personal growth. Your partner helps you and encourages you in your journey of growth and improvement. Because of the energy this interaction produces, both individuals are encouraged to grow and maximize their potentials. Together, you both enhance each other’s lives and support each other’s aspirations, that encourages individual and group advancement.

Effortless Compromise

Agreements and the resolving of disputes come about easily and organically in a soulmate relationship. Disagreements are approached with mutual respect and understanding, finding solutions through cooperation rather than conflict. Being able to iron out disagreements amicably, without having to compromise on your values or identity, is indicative of a strong connection and deep-seated compatibility.

In other words, a soulmate is much more than a hurricane of emotions, love at first sight, or the temporary bond between two people. It is all about bonding on an eternal basis with someone whereby the two persons almost understand one another silently, communicate with ease, and believe in each other’s bright prospects for the future. The above quotes further describe the profound connection that defines a soulmate relationship: the joy you feel in their presence, the intuitive sense of certainty, and how you naturally navigate through the ups and downs together. Fundamentally, it’s all about recognizing and appreciating that special connection which a soulmate relationship can offer, making every moment in life that you will share absolutely unique.

So, while driving back to pittsburgh after last week’s matchmaker event, my friend and i listened to different satellite radio rap stations the entire way, and were both utterly flabbergasted at how bad today’s mainstream hip-hop is. seriously, I’m usually not a “everything was better back in the day” type of guy, but after a couple verses from something called “waka flocka flame” almost gave me epilepsy, there’s really nothing else i can say.

As we neared pittsburgh, drake’s “best i ever had” came on, and the following conversation ensued:

Friend: “who is this guy?” (the only “new” rapper my man knows about is kanye. seriously, talking hip-hop with him makes me feel like i’m back in 1997. all i’d need is a pair of fatigues and a red jansport and i’d be right back in homeroom)

Me: “new cat named drake. why?”

Friend: “i can actually understand what he’s saying. if i was a 13 year old girl, i’d love this song”

Me: “that’s easily the gayest thing you’ve said all day. you need to quit playing them away games”

Friend: “the game’s out there, manye. you either play or get played”

Anyway, remembering this conversation and the subject matter of “best i’ve ever had” got me thinking: what’s the best hip-hop love song ever made? To be honest with you, i’m not exactly sure…but, i do have nine nominees.

***note: on my list, “love” doesn’t just encapsulate romantic love. the songs i’ve listed run the gamut from romantic and platonic to even inanimate object. also, just in case another batch of people completely unable to not take themselves seriously happen to “discover” vsb today, i want to remind everyone to remove the sphincter poles and realize that these nominees are just reflections of my own personal whims and remembrances***

“Sweet love” (method man, featuring street love and cappadonna)

One of the reasons why i’ve love the wu so much is that they’re completely and utterly unafraid to take artistic chances. from ghost spitting that his “rhymes are like ziti” to the rza’s perpetual (and occasionally annoying) experimentation, you literally have no idea what the hell you’ll hear when listening to a wu album. This fact is evident the first verse of “sweet love“, when street life rhymes about having sex with his girlfriend while he’s driving his car. not head. sex. while. driving.

Later in the song, cappadonna spits his infamous “love is love, love. love is love, love” line (which i later immortalized with a left arm tat) and method man delivers a verse than i actually cut and pasted and sent as a poem to a woman i was involved with, lying that i wrote it myself because i knew she’d never listen to the song.

***btw, by “was involved with” i mean “totally had an unrequited crush for“. the “poem” didn’t help. a couple weeks later, i got even more desperate and cut and pasted an inspectah deck verse. this worked. and by “this worked” i mean, “i finally got some from her four years later“***

“You got me” (the roots, featuring erykah badu and eve)

From the storyline and the chorus to eve’s verse and the fatalistic feel of the end of the song, everything about this track is perfect. Btw, speaking of perfect, if i had to rank “impressive and envy-worthy beards”, black thought’s would definitely be 1st, jerome bettis’, would be 2nd and paul pierce’s would be 295th.

“Passin’ me by” (the pharcyde)

Along with radiohead’s “creep” and “friends zone” by 88 keys and shitake monkey, this song perfectly represents the gamut of emotions men go through when faced with unrequited love. Plus, it’s one of the 10 or so songs that any self-respecting hip-hop head knows all of the words to. And, if you need a surefire way to make hipster chicks swoon, tweet a line from fatlips verse at least once a day.

“Me and my girlfriend” (tupac)

I’m including it because, well, i don’t know if i ever loved anything as much as tupac claimed to love his gun. well, maybe cookies and cream milkshakes, but that’s about it

“Full moon” (killarmy)

Probably the first real surprise entry on the list, i nominated “full moon” because of the depth of the brotherly bond for a murdered friend that killa sin expresses in the song’s second verse. I still get chills today when i hear him say “we went back far, like acorn fights around the swings”.

“Undying love” (nas)

Arguably the best story from hip-hop’s best storyteller, “undying love” deals with a rather, ummm, extreme reaction to finding out that your loved one was unfaithful. Is also one of the only “story” songs where each of the characters involved is dead by the end. basically, it’s a great song to have on your boning mixtape.

“How’s it going down” (dmx)

For no other reason than the fact that i say “since you gave me the p*ssy, your ass has gotten fatter” in dmx’s voice (in my head) to my girlfriend at least once a week.

“Love is blind” (eve featuring faith evans)

I had a “why it made the cut” summary written out, but i deleted it when i realized that it was completely panderific. The only reason this song is here is because i realized i hadn’t named any female rappers and wanted to be subversive by not going with  salt and pepa’s perfunctory “gotta man”.

“Renee” (the lost boyz)

I won’t say that the video still brings tears to my eyes when renee gets shot, but i will say that i haven’t watched it in over 10 years just because of that possibility. Maybe this makes me a punk, but seriously, renee didn’t have to die. why the hell did renee have to die????

Anyway falks, i’m sure i’m missing a few (hundred). What else would you nominate for the best hip-hop love song ever?