Okay, so you’re interested in trying interracial dating but you’re not quite sure how to approach someone of a different race. Wondering if flirting is different somehow? Well, if people are telling you that it’s the same as flirting with someone of your own race don’t believe them! Yes, men are men and women are women regardless of race but let’s be real, folks. Diversity is a good thing and people of different races are, in fact, different. The key is to understand and appreciate those differences. Just like diversity can be leveraged as a corporate strength when companies choose to invest in it the same can be said for relationships.
Many find it challenging to approach someone of a different race or ethnicity because there is obviously uncertainty about how their advance will be received. This is true in general about dating, but the concern tends to be magnified when it comes to the proverbial color barrier. Some feel that approaching a person of the same race is simply “safer” and that there will be a lesser likelihood of getting rejected from the outset. Interracial daters are often unsure about whether race will be a factor for another person so they may not make an advance at all – sometimes losing out on the possibility of a potential relationship.
If you’re uncertain about how to flirt with someone outside of your race and this obstacle has been holding you back from exploring interracial dating, the following 3-step approach is perfect for you.
Step #1. Pay Close Attention to Their Interests.
You would do this anyway with someone of your own race, right? Well, you have to be even sharper in this department when you’re scoping out someone of a different race! In order to break through you’ll have to come off as genuine. The object of your affection will know if you’re insincere so it’s important to really figure out where you can make a connection with them. Building that bridge based on common interests is an absolute must. Especially if you’re dealing with someone who may not typically date interracially. It will take you appealing to something that they’re really into to ease any resistance they may have about crossing the color chasm. Yes … that was intentional alliteration. 
Step #2. Discover What They Find Attractive.
Again, something you might try to do anyway, right? Yup. But, again, the need is really magnified when you’re considering interracial dating. It always helps to know in advance if the person you’re interested in is comfortable dating outside of their race. This step may take some time but if you hone your observation skills you may be able to pick up on comments they make to others that provide clues about their dating behaviors. If you’re feeling really crafty you might even want to plant a seed. For example, if you’re a white guy interested in a black woman you could drop a comment about the new Brad Pitt movie coming out and gauge her reaction. If she raves about Brad … you know you’ve got a shot! May not always be that easy but it’s definitely worth a try.
Step #3. Ignore the Race Issue Altogether.
This is probably easier said than done but here’s the deal … if you act like there is no color barrier the other person is likely to react the same way! But if you approach the person awkwardly they may automatically think you’re wary because of the race factor. A lot of people think, if done properly, being forthright about differences is the way to go. For example, asking them outright if they’ve ever dated interracially to cut to the chase. However, we really don’t recommend that. Considering race is important, but once you’ve thought about it and done some homework the best thing is to go for broke and approach them like you would anyone. They’ll appreciate you not making race a big deal or tempering your approach because they don’t look like you.
Flirting with someone of a different race just requires a few subtle nuances from the way you’d approach someone of your own race. At the end of the day, you just have to go for the gusto and put yourself out there.
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