Being able to accept ‘no’ as an answer is a reflection of having an abundance reality in dating . Similarly, being able to SAY no also comes from having perception, insight, judgment, balls and integrity. Turning down offers that are no good is, quite literally, a vital skill, especially for men who want to date high quality women.
This includes the ability to turn away people (guys or girls) who don’t make your life better, even when the situation compels you to continue.
Saying “No” to people and situations that we know aren’t good for us builds integrity and consistency in one’s self and one’s own beliefs. Unfortunately, some guys just can’t do this because their minds are so caught up in “getting some” even when they feel it wreaking havoc on their sanity…
Here’s an example of how it’s done. Recently, I met an attractive woman on the street downtown. She had an exotic, soft face and a curvy figure (in the good way!).
Her vibe was weird, but nothing so off the mark to disqualify her right away.
When I called her up…
John Robie: Hey (her name), this is JR. We met downtown a while ago ago.
Her: Oh hey JR! How are you doing?
JR: Good, good. I’m calling to invite you out for coffee. Which time is better, Tuesday or Wednesday evening?
Her: Hmm… Um… Let’s see… Tuesday evening.
JR: Alrighty. Let’s meet at (major landmark 1), 7:00pm.
Her: I don’t know (major landmark 1)…
JR: Ok then. How about (major landmark 2)?
Her: Um…
At that point, I was about to just disqualify her for not being with the program (having plenty of quality backups is fun), but…
Her: How about we meet where we first met on the street!
JR: Sure. Let’s meet there.
Her: Ok!
JR: I’ll see you then. Bye now.
Her: Bye.
She showed up about 7 minutes late. She was dressed casually and looked pretty good with her face dolled up along with her impressive figure. I extended my hand, and something felt a bit off in way she shook it – a bit too limp and nonchalant. We started walking to coffee shop and she immediately started digging for my personal information in a way that was slightly off.
Side note: We advise guys to be wary of women who will fake interest in you because they have an agenda. We want all of our guys with amazing women who actually like them and want to be with them, not girls who just use them and drain their wallets. Sometimes, when things “feel off” it’s really a sign of larger problems (sometimes not). The truth comes out in time so keep your eyes open, go slow and have fun.
Back to the story – after we started walking towards the cafe, she went for “What’s your job?” right away:
Her: “What’s your job?”
JR: “My job? My jooooob?” (incredulous and smiling)
Her: “Where are you from?”
JR: “…”
Now at this point, she’s launching random questions without even giving me a chance to answer.
Her: “Where are you from?”
JR: “I’m from space.” (deadpan)
Maybe it’s not high comedy, but women more attractive than this one have laughed it, and others even harder at more ridiculous answers.
Her: “Wha… Spain?”
JR: “Space.” (pointing up) “It’s really far away, you know? Takes about 20 minutes by bus. How about you? Where are you from?”
Her: “Oh! No, there’s no countries in space! Let me check…”
She then pulled out her smart phone (usually a bad move for any guy or girl on a date) and actually looked up countries in space… (Wtf?! Really?) All the while her attention was completely removed from me and on her phone. My ‘disqualify-o-meter’ was teetering right on the edge. I smiled silently while she checked her phone for a moment. She closed it, seemingly satisfied.
Her: “You’re not from space! Do you like jokes or something?” (She sounded annoyed.)
Me: “Of course. How about you – do you like jokes?“
Her: “I HATE jokes.” (She said this with no smile, no humorous tone and with a trace of venom in her voice.)
Me: “Well, I don’t think this date is going to be any fun. Bye.” (My hand outstretched.)
Her: “…Bye.” (Her jaw dropping in surprise.)
I walked away here because I could see that this date was truly, actually going to be nothing but a pain in the behind for both of us. I wasn’t willing to sit across from her for even 5 minutes pounding my head in the wall trying to make conversation with her.
Likewise, she didn’t laugh at my jokes while showing off a bad attitude. Some people might argue, “Well, your jokes weren’t funny.” I would agree, I don’t think they’re that funny either, so it blows my mind when extremely sexy women with attitudes far better than this one laugh at my jokes that are even lamer than the ones above. When they like you, they laugh at practically anything you say.
Others might argue, “Well hey bro, you didn’t spark enough attraction! Plus you ‘gave up’ when she was testing you. That’s not manly.” Once again, I would agree: There certainly was very little attraction, from me anyways. I gave up on her as a serious or even ‘just for fun’ dating prospect as soon as I found out she didn’t have much to offer other than good looks and a bad attitude. There are simply way too many women with great looks and a great attitude to settle for less. When they like you, they do all they can to make your life better . So yes, it would be extremely ‘not manly’ to roll over, accept her bad attitude and settle for continuing on the date with her.
Now why didn’t we ‘click?’ Why was there no chemistry? We could speculate all day long about why, but the fact of the matter is I personally felt we weren’t compatible and walked away as soon as I realized it … Exercising my ability to Say No, and in doing so preserving my time, money, energy and integrity.