So relationships are never a guarantee. You can be in love for years and then everything changes within months, weeks, or even days. As much as I always wanted to believe that there is one guy out there that would promise to love me forever and actually mean it, I have come to learn that this is not reality! Maybe for a lucky few, they do find this kind of love and it lasts until they grow old and gray. I am not saying it doesn’t exist, I am just claiming that I am no longer in search of this fleeting and rare love story.
I am a pretty logical chick and I know the way the world works. I also understand now, more than ever how it is inevitable that just like what goes up must come down, promises made in haste, will eventually be broken! Why do some need to hear “I will love you forever and promise to never leave you”? Just because the words were uttered does not mean in any way, shape, or form that they are true. Never is a promise and a big fat lie most of time!
When/if I get married I plan on it lasting forever, as in until one of us kicks the bucket. So I do not intend on going into that type of commitment lightly. I see so many people getting married just to get married and it makes me sad. I don’t want someone to promise me forever, I don’t want to hear it… I want to feel it through their actions and experience it through the life and times we share together! Some would say I am jaded and blaming my past on how I see the future, but I don’t agree with that. I finally woke up asked myself ”have any of the empty words so easily spoken to me in the past ever end up amounting to any true and happy future”? The answer is NO, not even close… Words mean nothing and usually create the pressure that may not have been there before because now you have this “promise” to maintain and live up to… That is a lot to put on yourself if you think about it.
Now there is a huge difference in being with someone who is like minded and feel the same fear about commitment, forever, and empty promises rather than being with someone who is just passing time with you until something better or more fun comes along. The person you are dating does not have to tell you they love you and can’t wait to spend their life with you, in order for you to feel safe and comfortable with them. They need to show you with their actions. You know when someone is not really there and in it with you, so don’t blind yourself to the truth of staying with someone who doesn’t really want anything down the road with you as opposed to someone who sees you there, but is not making any promises, yet.
We all deserve to be more than a second choice or a time killer until they are ready to settle down with someone else, or more likely play around with the next hot one who comes around and shows interest. Some people were meant to be single forever, don’t fall in love with these people. It hurts and it sucks when you finally realize it is never going to be. The best foundation and chance for a meaningful successful relationship is to be each other’s best friend, and building that friendship does not happen overnight.
A true friend scolds like a dad, cares like a mom, teases like a sister, irritates like a brother, and finally loves you more than just a lover ever will.
Be aware of the ones who will drag your heart around until they are done with it. People are liars and really only care about themselves at the end of the day, so regardless of how much someone may or may not tell you what you mean to them, you always know in the depths of your heart! Ignoring your gut feeling and intuition while having false HOPE will always get you heartbroken and crying with bubble snots… So even though it may hurt to walk away now, think about how much worse it will hurt down the road, when you are more invested.
“I don’t want someone to promise me forever, I don’t want to hear it… I want to feel it through their actions and experience it through the life and times we share together”
Because that type of love does exist, and everyone has the right to find it.