Deep down inside, you know you don’t need a ‘Top 10 Signs’ list to realize you’re in an unhealthy relationship. The signs are there, you just need to identify them. If you’re constantly having to make excuses for your relationship to friends and family, you know damn well something isn’t right. You’re probably shaking your head, thinking this couldn’t happen to you… but you’re wrong; it’s a lot more common than you think.
Possessive relationships can start out mimicking the beginning of a healthy, insanely passionate relationship. But if you’re not careful to make that distinction early in the game, you’ll find yourself caught in a complete cluster-fuck.
And the problem is, it doesn’t HAVE TO start off so intensely. You might have met Prince Charming, and then suddenly found yourself Sleeping with the Enemy. Realistically speaking, many of us would run at the first sign if it happened early enough – before becoming emotionally attached.
It’s a lot easier to end up in one of these if-i-can’t-have-you-no-one-can relationships. Here are a few red flags to keep your eyes open for:
10 Signs He’s Possessive
- He’s constantly texting/calling you obsessively, even when you tell him you’ll be busy for the day.
- Gives you shit for not responding promptly and accuses you of the craziest things.
- He won’t allow you to be anywhere other guys will be. If you tell him it’s an all girl thing, he’ll check.
- Needs constant updates and full recap of your previous night’s activities: headcount, gender, venues, etc. Even as detailed as who you sat next to at the dinner table.
- Your outfit needs to be approved before you step foot outside the door. Any area of skin that can give the wrong idea needs to be covered, or you’re asking for it.
- You’re apparently fucking everything with a penis – even the postman.
- He asks if you’ve fucked everything with a penis from your past and even when you tell him no, he’ll hear yes.
- He tries to isolate you from friends and family (because they’re the most likely to tell you he’s a nutcase)
- You’re expected to do as he says and will be punished if you don’t. There is no such thing as compromise.
- He gets defensive if anyone compliments you and thinks they’re out to fuck you, whether there’s a penis involved or not, you’re no longer allowed to talk. Wouldn’t want them lesbos working their voodoo magic on you, would we?
I didn’t include violence because that’s a whole other article. But it’s important to remember that guys like this are more likely to raise their hand to you.
Getting Out
A healthy relationship doesn’t put you in a cage. When the two of you don’t see eye to eye, you talk it out and compromise. You don’t sign your life away when committing to a relationship; if that was the case, we’d all aim to be single for ever. Recognize the signs above and get the hell out.
You’ll be tempted to stay. He’ll do everything in his power to manipulate you into giving it another change; he’ll promise he’ll change, he’ll tell you he needs you and he’ll tell you exactly what he thinks you need to hear. He’ll temporarily turn into the model boyfriend, and you’ll resume your stay at the insane asylum.
But I’m here to tell you, all of that is crap. Things won’t change, they’ll only get worse.. and you’ll be punished for having attempted to run; the chains will be one notch tighter.
Don’t be fooled. Possessive tendencies are indicators of deeper rooted issues that need to be dealt with. Don’t wait around to find out what those are.
Have any other warning signs to add?