I know you’ve heard advertisers and marketers blow wind in your ears and eye with all sorts of magical ways to get more dates and maybe some of them work. I do know that if you can imagine the person in your mind that you’re seeking it’s a lot easier to find him or her. If you don’t yet know what sort of person would be a good fit for you, now is the time to sort that out. Some people have told me that all they want is a man or a woman, they don’t care about anything else. What hogwash! Nobody is okay with just anyone and if they were, who’s want to be with them anyway?
Get a pencil and paper and start answering these questions and it’s important to note which qualities you do not want as well:
| Race? Body shape? Body size/weight? Hair color? Eye color? Education? Interests? Religion/spirituality? Occupation? Honesty Trustworthiness? |
Sexuality Interest in sex Sexual interests? Respect? Sense of humor? Appearance/style? Automobile? Salary? Personality? Sensitivity? Intelligence? |
Once you have this list made out, you’ll have a picture in your mind of the person you’re looking for. Ok, maybe the hair color will be a bit off or maybe the eye color isn’t important to you and you might not care about what car she drives or what he does for a living, but in all of those answers is the person you seek.
Read over your answers and close your eyes and see if you can see this person in your mind. Most people can.
Now I promised you three words that will get you more dates than anything else you’ve tried:
“Write to them.”
It could be as simple as writing:
“Hi, I’m Ted and I saw your profile and want to say you are one good looking woman. If you aren’t overwhelmed with email, I’d appreciate it if you’d check out my profile and photo and let me know if there is any interest. I’d appreciate a reply even if it’s to tell me how to improve my profile!”
Women love flattery and they like to help people so you’ve done both in this simple email. You could also try:
“Hi, I’m Ted, a single guy living in Phoenix. I love to watch auto racing and go to the races every chance I get. If you like auto racing and would like to accompany me to a race, check out my profile and get back to me. I checked your profile and see that you’re only 18 miles from me and you’ve got a great smile that got MY motor going!”
No more excuses, you can have a wonderful relationship but you must take that first step. Don’t say that dating sites are too expensive – compared to a night out, they’re cheap. Don’t say they take up too much time – you’re alone for pete’s sake, you have time. Don’t say there are too many fakes – maybe there are, but there are real gems there too and you can find them. Good luck!