Needy, clingy men that reek of desperation are unsurprisingly a major turnoff. So if that man is you and you’re wondering why you can’t attract women or last long in a relationship, then read on.
5 Signs that you’re Being Too Needy
You’re too emotional – There’s nothing wrong with showing emotion to a certain extent. However, if you always doubt yourself and you need constant reassurance about your relationship, then you’re being too emotionally needy. Women want a man that they can lean on. So if you’re always leaning on her, she’ll start to doubt your ability to do this. Women want a man who is confident and a challenge, not a man that’s insecure and predictable.
You always need reassurance – If you always need to be told how great you are, this is a sign that you have low-self-esteem. Women find this behaviour tiresome and don’t want a man that needs to be constantly reassured.
You’re always available – If you’re available every time she makes a date, she’ll begin to think that you haven’t got a life of your own. Being a challenge makes you more attractive. When dating women, show interest, but always keep to your regular schedule and don’t be available every time she clicks her fingers.
You do whatever she wants – If you agree with everything she says, do whatever she wants, give up things you really value in order to fit in with her life, and continue to allow this to happen, then you’ll end up boring her.
You’re always calling, texting and emailing her – If you’re calling and texting her several times a day and you’ve only just started dating, then you’re trying to get in contact with her too much. You don’t need to check up on her every hour. This is one of the best ways to scare women off quickly, so don’t do it.
If you suffer from any of these signs of neediness, I guarantee that you’ll find it hard to attract women or have a relationship. You need to stop these actions immediately.
How to Stop Needing
Stop waiting for her to contact you – If you’ve tried to get in touch with her and there’s no answer, you’ll probably start to feel nervous and worried while you’re waiting for her to get back to you. When this happens, take a deep breath. If you’ve already tried contacting her, there’s no need to try again. Whenever you feel the urge to pick up the phone and try contacting her again, remember that there are only a few reasons why she hasn’t got back to you:
- She hasn’t had a chance to respond
- She hasn’t seen your text or missed call yet, or she’s been too busy to get back to you. Always give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that this is the case. Allow her time to get back to you. If it becomes a continuous trend consider these two other possibilities:
- She’s unreliable. Some women are just forgetful. If you feel that this is the case, casually confront her about it. If it doesn’t change anything, you either need to walk away and forget about her, or just accept that she’ll never change and realise it’s just how she is.
- She’s just not interested in you. It doesn’t feel fair, but shit happens. It may be for a variety of reasons that are out of your control, but one thing’s for sure – giving her even more attention will never change her mind. If she doesn’t have the decency to respond, then she’s not worth your time.
Learn to trust – Neediness is often related with lack of trust and fear of rejection. When you start doubting her feelings towards you, or her loyalty, ask yourself why you don’t trust her. Is it because she’s cheated on you? Or is it because an ex-girlfriend once hurt you, and you’re afraid that she is going to do the same thing? If it’s the latter, then it’s unfair to judge her based on your ex-girlfriends actions – everyone is different, the past is the past, so leave it there. If she’s earned your trust, then trust her.
Regain your self-esteem – If you’re showing signs of neediness then you’re probably lacking self-esteem. You need women to make you feel better about yourself, but the fact is that you’re the only person that can do that. You shouldn’t base your happiness on someone else. It’s ok if she makes you happy, but if she’s the only thing in your life that makes you happy, you’ll become too demanding, and want to spend every minute with her. One of the best ways to get rid of your neediness is to prove to yourself that you don’t need anyone else in your life and that you can do things on your own. Be a single man for a while. You’ll begin to feel more confident and realise that you don’t need to be in a relationship all the time to make you happy.
Start liking what you see in the mirror – If you don’t like it yet, change your diet, go to the gym, buy clothes you feel great in, perfect a grooming routine, change your haircut, practice your smile. Whatever suits your personal likes and values is what makes you great – and its ok to look in the mirror and say “I am great”. Women don’t want to have to tell you that so you’ll feel good. They want a man who already feels good about himself. Be that man and value yourself!
Keep yourself busy – If you’re busy, you simply won’t have enough time in the day to be needy. You’ll always be preoccupied with other things, and guess what? Women find men that have their own life interesting and attractive. If you have nothing better to do than wait for someone to call or text, then you’re probably bored – and if you’re bored, you’re boring! So what are you waiting for? Socialise with friends, get a new hobby, travel, develop yourself, follow your passions and have goals in your life.
Start wanting instead of needing – Change your priorities in life and start WANTING. You know that you’re great and you have a lot going for you in your life. So if you get dumped or rejected by a woman, you’ll know that you’ll be fine because you have your own strengths, qualities and looks – you’re fine on your own and you don’t need her.
You’re then in a position to let a woman know “I don’t need you in my life. But I do want you.” She’ll realise that your life is great as it is, but you want to make it even better by having her in it. How much more positive does that sound compared to, “my life sucks, please be with me so it becomes bearable.” After you stop being needy, you’ll be less afraid to talk to women and attract them and you’ll be much more confident.
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