Ahhh the age old question that man has been attempting to answer for centuries. What turns women on? As a woman I am flattered that men continue to conquer this quest. I really am. So I want to do you a favor and tell you the answers to the more important question. What turns women off?
A man has the ability to win or lose a woman in a matter of seconds. SECONDS! That means that every time a man approaches, he must be on his A game. That is, if the end result he desires is getting the girl.
Here is a list of some basic’s that men have done to me and my girlfriends that have turned us off in seconds:
1. Not making eye contact or making too much eye contact
I hate it when a man approaches me and can’t hold eye contact. He looks around the room and not in a calm way but an awkwardly nervous way. This to me spells insecurity which means NOT MASCULINE ENOUGH FOR ME. On the other end of the spectrum, there are some men who have intense eye contact that freaks women out. The best way I can describe is that it feels like they are forcing their eyes to look at me and at the same time it looks like they are trying to suck my brain out of my nose.
The best way to make eye contact is to soften your brows, make sure there is at least a foot and a half of space beteen you and the women and softly lock with her eyes. You can break away but for moments, I actually recommend it, then connect again. If you can add a small smirk or smile to this it will be a deadly combo.
2. Guys who don’t listen
I had this one client of mine. So cute, great personality, very comfortable in his skin but when we started to do mock picks ups he would freeze up and go into robot mode. While in robot mode, he would recite his set dialogue, which was fine, BUT he did not allow me to engage in the conversation. He would say “hey how are you doing tonight?” I would start to answer and he would jump into his next question. NOT LISTENING. NOT ENGAGING and therefore NOT CONNECTING. Women are looking for something to connect to in you when you approach. It’s how we form opinions and how we figure out if we want to get to know you. No connecting = No Interest.
When you engage a woman, listen to what she says, absorb and then if possible build on what she has told you. If you can use her own words to form the conversation, she will be putty in your hands. I promise.
3. Talking about what you have
Money, cars, how much weight you lifted, how big your penis is. We could not care less about any of that stuff if you shove it in our faces and if you find girls that do, then you know what you are going to end up with. When guys start slipping in $$ amounts on how much they make or how much they spend all I can think is “this guy is so insecure, give me something a bit more real to latch onto”. Men who feel the need to pump themselves up constantly in order to impress, are the ones that have low confidence and high insecurity. Not attractive and not impressive in the long run.
4. Pouncing
I have been on many, many dates with guys over the years. I always hated it when I would go on a great date with a guy where I felt a connection and attraction and then BAM he would pounce on me. Text, email, phone calls, more dates!!!!! Too much too soon. I want a man who has a life, and I totally love it when a guy is into me, but when he puts me in front of everything after knowning me for 2 minutes it;s overwhelming and unattractive. I wonder to myself “does this guy have a life? why does he like me so much? Is he desperate? YUCK”.
5. Over revealing
This is a really important one to remember. As a woman I feel my best and most attracted when I get to feel feminine. I feel my most feminine when I am with a man who is masculine. Masculine does not mean macho but it means a male who is calm, cool, collected, comfortable and confident. True signs of masculinity, for me, are emotional control and self respect. When starting to date a man I want him to respect himself enough not to throw up on me and tell me his whole life story in the first hour of hanging out. I understand that when people get nervous they over talk or over share but this is where emotional control comes in to play. Remember that on a first date you are still evaluating whether or not a woman is worthy of knowing more about you. Therefore over sharing or throwing up your information on her can be #1 too overwhelming, #2 a big turn off, #3 a sign to her that you have no respect for yourself and you share your info with anyone who will listen. Take you time in getting to know someone and really decide who you want to share your info with.
6. Not being yourself
As one of the few women who work in the Pick Up Artist/Seduction community I am very aware of routines, tricks and tools men use to attract women. The one thing that I dislike the most about the community is that some of the programs create robots. I had this one client of mine who wanted to show me his “routine” that he learned for picking up women and wanted to know why it was not working for him. BTW he had paid over $2000 to learn this routine. He started telling me about an experience on a motorcycle and half way through I said to him “have you ever been on a motorcycle before?”, he looked so shocked when I asked and then said “no”. So I said “Then stop telling that story. You are not selling it, it seems fake and it’s so obvious that it is a routine.” Just because one line works for someone else does not mean it’s going to work for you unless you can learn to make it your own. Copying material is fine but it will only start to work for you when it becomes real to you. I know guys hate to hear it but, just be yourself. Not your wimpy self but the best version of yourself that is not insecure, has a life and knows he’s attractive.
As you can see from each of the above the common theme is to be comfortable with who you are. Once you establish comfort in yourself you will make eye contact with ease, listen for pleasure, be relaxed about your worth, respect your independece and be yourself. It takes time to find that place of comfort but once you do women will be all over you. I always say, you can’t turn a woman on until you turn yourself on!
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